One day, we had a meeting of all friends who walked
together to school. Our leader presided. It was a simple affair in
which without discussion the leader just announced the minutes and
looked at all members for approval. The proposal for all of us who had
come from our houses to go to school,was to skip the day's school and go
around through our short cuts, paddy fields, and wherever we liked and
avoid class and studies, which he said was very boring. I was petrified
and started looking at other friends faces. They were all shaking
their heads in approval. A couple of them had a grin on their faces as
if it is a great thing to do and kudos to the leader who could think of
such a marvellous idea and announce it without any hitch. I for one,
felt for the studies, and also wanted to see my class fellows on all
days, was at a loss at this sudden idea. I looked around to see if any
one had my thought in them. Alas, all were in favour of the boss and I
was alone! For the first time in that trip I thought my knees were
giving way. I pulled myself up and kept very quite. The leader started
walking to the short cut paddy field way.
We went through various compounds eating whatever fruits or junglee seeds we could get there. caught a few small fish a kept them on leaves with water in them and enjoyed the sight. After a while we came on the walk way on the bank of the Irrigation canal. The canal was of medium depth with two-three feet water flowing in them. I was really enjoying the journey and it was becoming almost lunch time. Suddenly, the leader stopped and asked one of my friends to 'bring out the other thing'. I started wondering what this other thing could be. My other friend (he had an arrangement with the leader and was more close to him) brought out a packet covered with newspaper. Once opened, I could see it was a bundle of beedis, the country cigarette. These had tobacco in it covered with the desi or country tendu leaves usually green in colour. My father and eldest two brothers, I have noticed, smoking them. I always thought that this is for the big men to use them and I hated the smell of it. I also hated those who used them. I could not stand the smell of it and once around that smell adhered to your dress too.
I shuddered at the sight of this terrible thing!
First a shiver went through me at such a turn of events which I had not expected. Not studying and skipping class was not OK, but sufferable. Here things were slipping out of hand. I kept my cool even though very uneasy. At home in the small rooms we had at times my father or brothers lighted up a beedi. The acrid smoke and the pungent smell of phosphorus and sulfur nauseated me every time this happened. I moved away as telling anything against will only call for criticism in those days. The leaders voice shook me from my reverie. "Distribute the thing" At this every one was given a beedi each. I did not accept the stuff. Others were examining it and they were all were putting it to their mouths as a prelude to lighting up. One of the boys produced a match box and helped each one to start their beedis. Once it was over the whole attention was on me. I could not think of a way out. There were moments of tension. Slowly the leader came close and stood before me. He towered over me. I started to become smaller and smaller. He ordered my friends to hold my hands and said "I have a way to make him accept it" Two of my little friends who had grown bigger than me after my refusal held my hands. Leader ordered a third friend "Light it and put it in his mouth" There was a way of lighting up for others by lighting the beedi and taking a puff by somebody before putting it in others mouth. This was being done to me now! My face reddened. I wanted to rebel. I wanted to revolt. I wanted to vomit!
The lighted beedi was put in my mouth and the smoke started to penetrate my nostrils. The climate was pleasant. There was a light breeze. It had rained in the early morning. The water was flowing in the canal with a gurgle. Suddenly on the spur of the moment I spat out the beedi to the flowing water. On contact with water the lighted beedi was put off with a hiss and it started flowing down stream. Every body was stunned! I expected the unthinkable may happen now, which I did not know. Leader was also takedn by surprise for a moment. No body expected this to happen. The cost of the beedi and the irreparable loss which I made, upset them. The Leader told me, with . a bit of sadness, "No you can't be in our company. Keep away from the team!" I had nothing to say. I was startled, just stared at him for a short while and started backing up. Then he turned around and started his walk and everybody else followed, I at the last.
After a while he came back to me and admonished me saying that I cannot walk in line with them, so I keep a few steps away from them only which I obeyed to avoid further complication. I walked with my head down and sad at the turn of events and feeling for myself, as to lose such nice friends who were my walk mates!
All of us walked in aline over the side bank of the canal which brought us to the road and at the joining point there was a small tea shop. Once at the shop, the shop keeper in a lungi ( a coloured piece of long cloth) with a lighted beedi on his lips greeted our leader with a wide grin and a 'helo'. I was sure that they knew each other. The other friends were non-consequential as none of us were grown up enough to enter a tea shop on business or greet the owner. We were all considered small children.
The Leader turned around and said that we all will have our lunch here. He said, those who had their lunch with them, eat it there and those without to buy something. I was sheepishly standing around bewildered thinking if at all I will be accepted back in the team. The leaders suggestion of having lunch jolted me out of my reverie and dreams and things and threats of the moment became very real to me.
I could never think of entering a tea shop and eat something as we were without money. We never had it during our school times. We only had books and writing materials. We went near a tea shop at times only if we in need of cold drinking water, which were offered free of cost. Apart from this, I still had my plate to collect my school lunch and it has become lunch time, which meant I may lost my school lunch. I made a very bold decision then. I decided to leave the team and face the consequences. In any case, I had been dispelled by the leader. All in the team were in side the tea shop where the leader were ordering some food for him and a few of the others who had not carried any food.
I turned around and walked fast to the school which was not far off. As I reached the school gate the class master was coming out and he saw me. He was a bit surprised and said why I am so late. I mumbled some household problem and sneaked past him to the class room. The classes had not restarted after lunch. Some of the other class fellows thought something is amiss and asked me. I told some problem on the way had held me up etc. But I did not have any answer to their further questions as to where are the others and the leader.
Classes started. My friends never appeared in class that day. On return, I found them on the road but they did not speak to me that day. Next day on wards we went to class as if such a thing never happened. The Leader and one or two of the group enjoyed a smoke at times whenever they had the money. However, it never made any harm to our general going to the school. (The only sad part was, non of them made much in life and some of them died young. One of them, much much later in life acknowledged that "You made it because you broke away from us". That was when I really felt sad for all of them).
We went through various compounds eating whatever fruits or junglee seeds we could get there. caught a few small fish a kept them on leaves with water in them and enjoyed the sight. After a while we came on the walk way on the bank of the Irrigation canal. The canal was of medium depth with two-three feet water flowing in them. I was really enjoying the journey and it was becoming almost lunch time. Suddenly, the leader stopped and asked one of my friends to 'bring out the other thing'. I started wondering what this other thing could be. My other friend (he had an arrangement with the leader and was more close to him) brought out a packet covered with newspaper. Once opened, I could see it was a bundle of beedis, the country cigarette. These had tobacco in it covered with the desi or country tendu leaves usually green in colour. My father and eldest two brothers, I have noticed, smoking them. I always thought that this is for the big men to use them and I hated the smell of it. I also hated those who used them. I could not stand the smell of it and once around that smell adhered to your dress too.
I shuddered at the sight of this terrible thing!
First a shiver went through me at such a turn of events which I had not expected. Not studying and skipping class was not OK, but sufferable. Here things were slipping out of hand. I kept my cool even though very uneasy. At home in the small rooms we had at times my father or brothers lighted up a beedi. The acrid smoke and the pungent smell of phosphorus and sulfur nauseated me every time this happened. I moved away as telling anything against will only call for criticism in those days. The leaders voice shook me from my reverie. "Distribute the thing" At this every one was given a beedi each. I did not accept the stuff. Others were examining it and they were all were putting it to their mouths as a prelude to lighting up. One of the boys produced a match box and helped each one to start their beedis. Once it was over the whole attention was on me. I could not think of a way out. There were moments of tension. Slowly the leader came close and stood before me. He towered over me. I started to become smaller and smaller. He ordered my friends to hold my hands and said "I have a way to make him accept it" Two of my little friends who had grown bigger than me after my refusal held my hands. Leader ordered a third friend "Light it and put it in his mouth" There was a way of lighting up for others by lighting the beedi and taking a puff by somebody before putting it in others mouth. This was being done to me now! My face reddened. I wanted to rebel. I wanted to revolt. I wanted to vomit!
The lighted beedi was put in my mouth and the smoke started to penetrate my nostrils. The climate was pleasant. There was a light breeze. It had rained in the early morning. The water was flowing in the canal with a gurgle. Suddenly on the spur of the moment I spat out the beedi to the flowing water. On contact with water the lighted beedi was put off with a hiss and it started flowing down stream. Every body was stunned! I expected the unthinkable may happen now, which I did not know. Leader was also takedn by surprise for a moment. No body expected this to happen. The cost of the beedi and the irreparable loss which I made, upset them. The Leader told me, with . a bit of sadness, "No you can't be in our company. Keep away from the team!" I had nothing to say. I was startled, just stared at him for a short while and started backing up. Then he turned around and started his walk and everybody else followed, I at the last.
After a while he came back to me and admonished me saying that I cannot walk in line with them, so I keep a few steps away from them only which I obeyed to avoid further complication. I walked with my head down and sad at the turn of events and feeling for myself, as to lose such nice friends who were my walk mates!
All of us walked in aline over the side bank of the canal which brought us to the road and at the joining point there was a small tea shop. Once at the shop, the shop keeper in a lungi ( a coloured piece of long cloth) with a lighted beedi on his lips greeted our leader with a wide grin and a 'helo'. I was sure that they knew each other. The other friends were non-consequential as none of us were grown up enough to enter a tea shop on business or greet the owner. We were all considered small children.
The Leader turned around and said that we all will have our lunch here. He said, those who had their lunch with them, eat it there and those without to buy something. I was sheepishly standing around bewildered thinking if at all I will be accepted back in the team. The leaders suggestion of having lunch jolted me out of my reverie and dreams and things and threats of the moment became very real to me.
I could never think of entering a tea shop and eat something as we were without money. We never had it during our school times. We only had books and writing materials. We went near a tea shop at times only if we in need of cold drinking water, which were offered free of cost. Apart from this, I still had my plate to collect my school lunch and it has become lunch time, which meant I may lost my school lunch. I made a very bold decision then. I decided to leave the team and face the consequences. In any case, I had been dispelled by the leader. All in the team were in side the tea shop where the leader were ordering some food for him and a few of the others who had not carried any food.
I turned around and walked fast to the school which was not far off. As I reached the school gate the class master was coming out and he saw me. He was a bit surprised and said why I am so late. I mumbled some household problem and sneaked past him to the class room. The classes had not restarted after lunch. Some of the other class fellows thought something is amiss and asked me. I told some problem on the way had held me up etc. But I did not have any answer to their further questions as to where are the others and the leader.
Classes started. My friends never appeared in class that day. On return, I found them on the road but they did not speak to me that day. Next day on wards we went to class as if such a thing never happened. The Leader and one or two of the group enjoyed a smoke at times whenever they had the money. However, it never made any harm to our general going to the school. (The only sad part was, non of them made much in life and some of them died young. One of them, much much later in life acknowledged that "You made it because you broke away from us". That was when I really felt sad for all of them).
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