The funny side of the Bank Account..!

The Bank Account Management-The funny side of it!

Times have changed. These are global times! The old order changeth..and the new is struck in to make leaps and bounds in transactions, progress in general life and “achhe din” all along! These welcome steps always sent me, a village man into great euphoria! We always doubted or thought why earlier such things could not be thought of by any body. They in their authority in the Banks and those who transacted with them in the villages only thought of Banks as places where they deposited excess money when it was available and took it off when they needed a little money here and there when there was any immediate necessity.

The Manager knew not only you, but also your father, the family tree and all those related to you.

He welcomed me as soon as he spotted me and I proceeded just after reciprocating his helo so as not to encroach upon his time and to get our own transactions done. The counter clerk did almost all that was wanted by me and at times took the money from the cashier and gave to me. But those times have changed ! Now globalling is on the roll, Bankers with MBAs rule, the clerks and others have become executives with computer knowledge and computers and the Banking has changed altogether into Air conditioned suberbs1

In these circumstances, like the computers and executives all are new and no body knew the other person and the old customers are simply forgotten as we are all fed into the computer and are told to bring new KYC formats. On enquiry the counter clerk in his chair looked quizzickally at me as if he was looking at an accused in a police station and said “Have you an Account here?”

My polite reply “That I have” brought his next order: “Then you have to fill up the KYC” and pointed me to a counter clerk sitting in another corner with a lot of forms. He on approaching gave me my required forms. I searched out an empty chair and sat down to fill up the forms both for me and my wife and after a lot of references to this and that got all the little squares filled up and took it to the earlier executive. He went through it in great detail and demanded “Where is the photo?” I was taken aback and said “ have it in my bag”. “Take it out and fix it in the column above signature and sign it” was his next command which was obediently executed. He went through it again and instructed “All right, this is complete now, attach a residential proof and an identity proof and take two photo copies each and bring it to me” to which I meekily asked him “Can the Bank make the photo copies?” to which he retorted “Are ither kutch nahi hoga..aapko yeh cheese banaake laana hai” which ended my arguments and I started to make photo copies from the shops in the market cluster where the Bank was located.

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The shop just opposite was closed and it had a small board saying “Photo copying” -> and an arrow to the right. This meant I have to walk to the right side of the complex. To be doubly sure I enquired in the next shop next to it who directed me in the opposite direction. He said “Walk to the right side of the Bank building and there is a market. As soon as you enter the market turn right and photo copying is there”. I walked as he said taking the right turn and I was looking into a old dilapidated shop in which an old gentleman was talking to a young girl. I entered and enquired and he replied in the affirmative. He was talking to the young girl and disposing her off after laminating some papers and making her identity card water proof etc. So, I waited for my turn and when the old gentleman turned to me enquired the charges for photocopying.

He looked at me quizzickally and said “It is two rupees per copy” for which I put forth my bargain, “Not one rupee?” The old gentleman looked at me benignly and said “I shall make it one rupee and fifty paise for you, which is the minimum you can get in this market.” I agreed.

He took the papers from me and very metiiculously took the photocopies on his computer copier adding: “My copier is superiour to other machines. It is a computer thing. It costs more, you see” I saw that and agreed with him. I remarked in reverence to his age and experience, looking at a huge photo copier stacked on one side of the shop completely dusty and in disuse. “You should be using the large machine and lessen the price for us” for which he said: “Who is going to get this repaired

and reused? Even otherwise there is not much business here these days”. He completed the copying, counted the pages and gave me the two copies each of the three pages and I walked back to the Bank where lunch time had started!

THE LUNCH: When it comes to village banks, the lunch time is sacrosanct. The clerk sir who was to take my originals and copies was walking out wiping his face and stroking his stomach. Once outside he did not recognize me which is OK. I entered the bank to wait for him and my wife who was with me said”It has become lunch time now, should we wait or have lunch and come back.?” “Naturally, we can go for lunch and come back, there is no point in looking at those who are taking lunch or at those who are having a little piece of mind during lunch time.”

We left for lunch to a relative of ours and at their house I started rechecking my papers and found out to my horror, that I have missed out my original KYC with the lovely old gentleman who did my photo copying. Now I have to go back there to collect the original copy first before giving it at the Bank....I knew, things are compounding. The KYC is going to trouble me a little.

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My wife was agitated at the loss of the original at the photocopying shop and enthused me to go and check the shop once again which I did. I found the shop was shut half way with a blue shutter and the internal glass door is visible at the bottom side. I tapped on the shutter and the door for a little while and then came back to the bank to report the matter to my wife who said she will make enquiries at the shop or around and find out if she can get the same and went out in a jiffy. She came back promptly with a phone number and showed me how simply things are in place. I kept wondering, what is happening to me. I never saw the phone number. She said the phone number was on the top of the shop. (Perhaps..!, I thought). I called on the number brought by my wife and the gentleman on the otherside seemed to be appologetic. He said : “saab jee, mey thoh sochaa bhi tho ek khande se pehle uthar aah nahin sakta. Meh toh Luxmi Nagar meh hoom is waqt.” (Sir, even if I wanted, I can't reach there before an hour at least).This threw away our idea of getting the paper back immediately and giving it to the Bankers immediately after lunch.

We came out for lunch and once on our own, thought of looking at the shop once again. We went to the shop and found out the shop which was now fully shut and the real inside of the shop I could not visualize. I remembered the old gentleman, sophisticated in his talk, but the whole shop in shabby conditions, a huge dusty” photo copier at one corner and his having a computer copier on the shop table and his standing infront of it with a small laminating machine on one side etc. But now I can't reverify them until the shop is open. Also, the glass door which I had seen just behind the shutter was also confusing as I had not see a glass door when I went in for photocopying. I thought “Now, I can't do a thing, until I saw the shop opened”.

Then, of course, we thought of asking the neighbouring shops. The girl in the opposite shop said, “The photo copy shop on the other side? He closes for lunch and comes late after lunch. Why you worry, we can also photo copy for you. What is it that you want to photocopy?” I was amazed! I had not seen this shop in my hurry to get the copying done in a hurry when I came the first time. The shop was full of hanging leaflets and pamphlet advertisements on various issues which made the people inside the shop invisible. Since I did not have anything to photo copy now, I said lazily:

“Oh..no..we have to collect a paper from him”. The girl said “Then you can come back after your lunch and siesta. The uncle takes a nap after lunch and then only comes.”

We surveyed the whole area for the near by shops and the location and left for lunch. We could relax a bit at our relative's place which made us recover from our crestfallen feelings and once we felt good, I called up the phone number again to check if the gentleman had reached the shop. He replied in the affirmative and ever so promptingly saying “Saab jee, shop meh toh hai, magar aap ka photo kaunsi hai. Mere paas athaareh photo hai, aapka kaunsi hai?” This gilted me. You see, there was a quirk in the conversation with him. I am talking about photocopies and he is asking me about photo. I sensed something is not correct. Why he should ask me about photo instead of photo copy? I told him : “Don't worry..I am coming there..so there will be no problem” He said: “Aayiyeh ji, aayiyeh...” We reached there in the shortest of time when the skies were getting cloudy and a rain was about to come down. The noon time temperature had come down and we were relaxed. Once in front of the shop, which was now open it was clear to me: “My lord, this is not the photo copying shop. This is a photo studio. !”

The shop keeper saw us and came out to invite us in with a broad smile: “Aayiyeh....ji.” Once inside, I appologised to him Bhai sahab, we were looking for a photocopying shop near around and not your shop. This is a faux pass. Sorry for the inconvenience” He was a young sikh gentleman at his best in politeness and hospitality. He said “Areh saab, kyaa baat karthey ho, yeh toh hota hi rehtaa hai... koi baat nahin” He continued “Hum toh photocopy nahin, photo kheenchteh hai. Yadi kabhi photography sumbanthi koyi jaroorat ho, yaad karleejiyeega” “Aap kaa photocopier vaaleh uncle ji doh shop aage hai. He comes late. Timepaaas keliye aathey hai.” (Sir, what are you saying? These things keep happening. No problem. We make no photo copies but photographs. If ever you needed a photography connected necessity, do remember us) (Your photocopier gentleman uncle is two shops ahead. He comes late. He comes for time pass only).

It was clear a faux pass has occured and now we are at the receiving end just for a photo copy because our bankers won't do a photo copy for themselves ..! The studio owner showed us various albums and their varieties which he can make for us on order whenever needed.

We decided to wait, even thoughit was only past three o' clock. A wait which made us cut off from all other worries of news paper, tv news, internet and cell phones. My wife kept standing infront of the newly located shop. I had missed noticing this shop properly. I was reminded of my new traits of not noticing the places and shops properly these days, which I fully agreed in my own surprise.

The new shop which we now aimed, had the small sign board saying “FOTO COPYING”. The shop had the old and fading large sign board of “CHEMISTS” written on the Shutter followed by thefurther sign of “Specialists in ayurvedic medicines” . I had not seen this earlier, when I went in as the rolling shutter was up then..! My wife, now adamant that she will collect our paper as soon as the shop keeper came in, took position in front of the shop and I walked back to my car to sit down and watch when this old uncleji is returning...! The climate was cooling down as the clouds were becoming darker. Now the market had a desserted look and there were no body outside the shops, except my wife standing alone. A girl from the nearby shop came up to her and started chatting with her. I went to join the conversation to see what is happening. Once with them it was clear. The girl is an emplyee in the near by shop. She could not stand the sight of an elderly madam just standing in front of their shop all alone in this humid climate. She invited us to sit in their air conditioned shop. That is a piece of Indian Hospitality. We profusely thanked her and said we would rather keep outside where we are to which she made a great suggestion: She said: “You give us your number, I shall call you when the uncle ji opens the shop! It is not necessary that he comes in the evening. Sometimes he does not turn up” That was great of her. May God bless her. We told her that we shall take her number and call her after a while which she agreed to and gave us the shop's visiting card.

We left after giving the girl our number and with the visiting card of their shop in hand. We came to our relative's house again,had tea and left as it was getting darker. On our way back, it started to rain heavily. It was a beautiful drive in the heavy rain remembering old times and free from the bank stuff and photocopying.

After two days, we got to know, our relative had got the original from the old uncle ji and now it is our turn to go and collect it. Our KYC (Know your Customer) is still not given in our Bank with which we have an account for the last twenty years or more..!

Will continue.....